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TRIPLE DOG DARE
lyrics by Will Shade and Mike Brassard, music by Brian Lyford
if you find yourself upon a roof with no ladder
just look around and ask yourself does it really matter
whether you face north or you face south
when all those words coming outta the king’s mouth
are oh so damn obscene, having to do with the queen
spitting poison as she stirs a stinking pot of schemes
what of those proverbs of the Long Ranger
those worn out knuckleballs conceived in a manger
whispering too hot to hoe, too wet to plow
and those seed you wanna sow
won’t gestate and grow
on the dark side of the mountain
it’s just a triple dog dare
now the Jack of Diamonds found himself in a jam
so he said “Hey, won’t you pass the peanut butter, man”
and they shipped him off in a cardboard box
but you know that Jack he was a sly old fox
so he slinks on home in a bubblegum wrapper
whispering dribbles in the ears
of all the boys that wanna tap her
now I’m not saying that RFK
ever met the devil on the road to LA
and this sure as shit ain’t not stupid metaphor
just a key that won’t open that old green door
that leads down the dark road
to Galilee east of Eden’s hidden path
that winds for you and me
because if you’re destined to drown, my friend,
they can’t hang you
hell, no, they won’t hang you
not on the dark side of the mountain
some night you might wake up surrounded by light
and find yourself sleepwalking through a brutal fistfight
go peel a chicken and listen to the beat, beat, beat
and tell yourself to glisten
and repeat, pete, pete
tight suits, black boots, red eyes and skinny ties
all your backseat dreams and those icky sticky thighs
and watch out, boys, for those groping hands
of sorority girls and one night stands
that make you bay at the moon
and howl like a man
you see a pig without a pedigree, son, is still a pig
on the dark side of the mountain
it’s just a triple dog dare
credits
from
From Pillar To Post,
track released June 15, 2011
Mike Brassard: vocals, Bo Blodgett: lead guitar, Brian Lyford: rhythm guitar, Steve Blodgett: bass and organ, Peter Young: drums, Salla Day: vocals, Arttu Tolonen: rhythm guitar, Juha Litmanen: maracas. Produced by Will Shade.
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